The Strife Family
by Rayne Hargreaves
Summary: Growing up with an ex-mercenary as your dad, a barmaid as your mom, and crazy neighbors can be quite the adventure. Follow the lives of Sora, Roxas, and Naminé Strife as they grow up with their huge dysfunctional family. AU KH and FFVII crossover.


**THE STRIFE FAMILY  
**_One-shot Number One.  
1259 words._

Muffin Sickness

* * *

. o . o . o . o .

"Sora. Sooooooooora... Sora? Sora!"

The sky blue coverlet shifted slowly until finally a small brunet head popped out from under. "Ngh mrrph," the bleary-eyed boy replied, and started withdrawing back into his comfortable sanctuary of sleep and dreams. When an offending finger poked him sharply on the side, he sat up fully with a yelp, giving his younger brother a wounded look. "Roxaaas," Sora whined, pulling his coverlet over his spiky hair. "I'm tryin' to sleep!"

"You sleep too much," Roxas reprimanded, waving his poking index finger in an threating way, even if his brother couldn't see it. "Is time for brek'fust!" Naminé stood beside him, watching with quiet amusement as the lump under the blankets seemed to hunker down and prepare to battle for ten more minutes of sleep. "If you don't come out, I'm gonna have Nami get in there and tickle you agin!" the little blond continued, starting to yank on the coverlet. "So_ra_!"

"Noooo!" Sora tugged back, struggling against his brother's hold. "I'm _sleepy_!"

"Nuh-uh! If you were sleepy, you wouldn't be pullin' so hard!"

"I'm pullin' hard 'cause you're trying to take my blankie away! I need my blankie to sleep!"

"Mama made muffins for brek'fust," Naminé's soft voice broke in. "Tonberry and Chocobo Chip."

Sora flung the blankets off of him, causing his brother to topple to the ground. "MUFFINS!" he cheered, and rushed out of his room. Roxas sat up with a sigh, scratching the back of his tousled head.

"Him an' his muffins."

. o . o . o . o .

Unfortunately for Sora, his mother wouldn't let him have any muffins until he'd washed his face, brushed his teeth, and washed his hands. So by the time the little brunet came back down, there were only two Chocobo Chip muffins left on the white china plate sitting on the kitchen counter. And he had _so_ wanted Tonberry one today. "Mama? Did you save me a Tonberry muffin?"

Tifa Lockhart Strife glanced down at her eldest son, smiling as she wordlessly popped open the oven under the stove and pulled out a warm blueberry muffin for him. The names had stuck a long time ago with her children, ever since Cloud had mixed up 'blueberry' with 'Tonberry' and 'chocolate chip' with 'Chocobo Chip' in a half-awake morning daze. Add that to their deep love of muffins (which came from Cloud's side of the family...really), and you have one very happy and fun Muffin Saturday morning.

Sora squealed with glee, taking it and giving her a kiss before running out into the living room to watch Saturday morning cartoons with his siblings. There was a subdued argument for space on the couch, then the Digimon theme song continued its cheery tune.

Cloud came down the stairs seconds later, running a hand through his wild blond hair. "Morning Teef," he murmured. "I smell muffins."

See, it _did_ come from his side of the family.

"Good morning," she replied, turning her head to accept a kiss on the cheek. "Sora took the last Tonberry, sorry. You're going to have to settle for Chocobo Chip."

The ex-mercenary pulled his face into an expression that could only be described as a indignant pout. "I _hate_ Chocobo Chip." He started slinking towards the living room, no doubt to try to cajole Sora into giving him a few bites of Tonberry, but Tifa stopped him with a laugh.

"I know you better than that, Cloud Strife," she scolded, burgandy eyes twinkling as she loaded a plateful of muffins for him from the oven. "I made plenty of Tonberries. And try not to get sick _again_?"

"I'll try not to," he replied honestly with a sheepish grin.

. o . o . o . o .

The first hour was okay- Digimon ended without a hitch, and it melded into Spiderman perfectly. It was in the second hour when the Strife children noticed the telltale signs of Papa's muffin-sickness. Or in more blunt terms, Cloud's muffin-overeating.

Naminé noticed it first, being the child sitting on her daddy's lap at that second hour. He tried to hide it, but the little blonde girl heard his suppressed dry cough. Without a word she hopped off his lap and headed into the kitchen for a glass of milk- it was an unspoken duty as Daddy's Little Girl. When she returned, Sora and Roxas were already pounding on his back to try and help him cough up a muffin-piece that'd gotten stuck in his throat. Always just after Pokémon, during the commercials and then through the Transformers opening song.

_"Transformers, robots in disguise!"_

Right on time.

Down went the milk, then a brief green color flitted across the man's pale features before he bolted off towards the downstairs bathroom. Sora ran after his papa to make sure he didn't bang his head on the door or anything while he went in, while the oldest blond child went into the kitchen for a status report to his mother.

"Mama? Papa's muffin-sick agin," Roxas reported. "He jus' went into the baffroom." Naminé trailed in behind her brother, handing her mother the plate with three remaining Tonberry muffins on it.

Tifa sighed, putting down her grocery list. "Sora, do you want the rest of the Tonberries?"

"Yes Mama!" Sora called estatically from the hallway. The rest of what her son had to say was blocked out by the painful sound of her husband upchucking his breakfast. Everyone winced.

A head of jet-black spiky hair popped in through the kitchen window. "Ouch, muffin-sick again? Those muffins of yours are _lethal_, Teef."

"Morning Zack...I _told_ him to try not to eat too many of them, but every Saturday it happens like this," Tifa sighed helplessly, gesturing in the bathroom's general direction.

Zack's head was shoved out of the way, and in its place came Aeris' pretty brunette head. "Maybe you should stop making them so delicious then," she said in between her bell-like laughter. "He can't help from eating them all."

"Hi Aeris. The door's open if you want to come in," the Strife matron offered.

"Actually, we have a favor to ask. Mother requested that she talk to Zack and me-"

"Kill me now," her husband groaned, and Aeris shoved his head down from sight with a slight scowl.

"-but without the kids. Do you think we can drop them off for a day-long playdate?"

"We'll be good! Pwomise!" Kairi's voice pipped up. There was a scuffle and a whine of protest from Zack, but finally the little redhead managed to get herself visible through the window via Zack's back as a stepladder, her arms on the windowsill trying to keep her body up. "Me an' Axel will behe-beha-"

"Behave," Aeris prompted gently.

"Behave! Yus, behave. Right big brother?"

Axel was tall for his age, but he still needed to clamber up his father's back to be seen as well. "Sure will! Y'know we always do," he grinned cheekily, boosting his struggling sister up and over the windowsill. She yelped and screeched at him for the action, but she landed safely on the counter next to the remaining muffins sitting under a glass dome.

"Ooh, muffins!"

. o . o . o . o .

When Cloud returned from retching up muffin, he found the kids on the couch continuing their Saturday morning cartoon watching fest. Roxas looked like he was dozing off, with Naminé beside him, trying to sketch out Optimus Prime on her sketchbook. But the sight that had him running back to the bathroom was Sora, Axel, and Kairi polishing off the rest of the muffins at lightning speed, arguing heatedly about which Transformer was better.

. F . i . n .

* * *

**Author's Notes:**

Well...I had a friend read this over, and he was doubtful about the ending (read: didn't like it -laugh-). You know, with Cloud throwing up and all. He thought it messed up the flow of the story. I knew/know my story writing is choppy, so I thought about it, decided I wanted to change it, then finally decided to keep it. If this is how it came out the first time I typed it up, I should keep it that way, right? The only way to improve is by posting it and getting collective constructive criticisms from my readers...That plus...it just seems right. This is an AU fan ficcy...if Cloud is muffin-obsessed, then Cloud is muffin-obsessed and throws up from muffin-overeating because I said so. So there. I just hope whoever is reading this likes it, you know? That is...if anyone is reading it in the first place.

I know I didn't talk much about the Strifes this chapter/oneshot around, but as I write more chapters/oneshots, I'll include more information about them and their friends. It makes it more interesting to read, I think.

Feel free to suggest situations that I can stick the Strife family into. I have some lined up, but since I'm not very creative, I know I'll run out of ideas sooner rather than later.

Review please? And this is going to go down here, since I think this is where it belongs.  
Final Fantasy VII, Kingdom Hearts, and its characters do not belong to me.

Kaythxbai.


End file.
